I’m not going very far out on a limb when I say, ‘The most beautifully designed instrument on the human body, maybe of any instrument ever, is the hands.’ Filled with sensitivity, and an intricate combination of muscles that work in amazing concert to accomplish tasks, the hands’ function can never be accomplished by machines. Hands touch, examine, mold, study details of texture, gauge temperature and are the tools for almost everything we do. Hands are a true extension of the mind. They move like a musical instrument when we talk, they caress your child’s hair, they open the car door without any thought. Our hands have been used for great good, and have been used for great evil, but mostly they are used for simple daily living; i.e. Try tying your shoes without hands. Hands learn with practice, and are arguably the sole reason humans have outclassed other animals for survival in the evolutionary process. There are hands that work hard, pulling on heavy things, griping tightly. These hands do the work, not afraid of getting dirty, or getting hurt. Hands that play guitar, bending notes, creating a sound, express a feeling, work a rhythm and, more importantly, make other people feel what they feel. Some hands are delicate, feminine, efficient and soft to the touch. A big part of how people operate, live, express, and do anything is connected to our hands.

My hands have been silenced, or at least, quieted!! Not one muscle below my wrist moves, and only very dull sensation exist in my thumbs. My hands do not feel hot or cold. My hands lost the ability to play guitar, and the ability to unbutton my shirt. My hands definitely don’t tie shoes, and they cannot hold a tennis racket or shoot a basketball anymore. Still, my hands work hard as I push a wheelchair using them, despite their inabilities. I hit them into peg-extensions that stick out of the handrim. And, as paralyzed hands go, they do a pretty damn good job of it. A lot of it is timing, as I try to time my hand connecting with, or near, the peg as I push. This becomes more complicated as one side needs more effort than the other in order to turn slightly, or adjust direction. And, admittedly, often my hands miss their mark, and slip off the rim. My hands have learned to type on a keyboard, and write, by placing a pen between the fingers. Albeit, the legibility not great. My hands have learned to pick up the phone by using more wrist and gravity than any hand movement. My hands have learned to pick up papers, or turn a page, sometimes by licking my fingers first for added friction. With these hands, I make $11.86 an hour at a job. And they drive me there too.

When I hear people say, ‘One day you will walk,’ I have to laugh inside. The challenge of being paralyzed, for me, is not walking, it’s using those incredible wonders of human nature—the hands!